In this post, SERENE co-founders Millana Snow and Erin Ralph committed to finishing off the year, 40 days and 40 nights to be exact, doing daily rituals of self-love and self-care exercises that have proven to lift vibration and make manifesting easy as 1-2-3, or in this case, 40. We’re taking the scenic route. Read below our daily account of the experiences and magic that happen along the way! If you feel inspired to join us, share your journey below in comments or email us, we’d love to hear from you!
12/30 Day Forty
Its funny I thought that the final day would be the last day of the year, but it looks like today was the last day! Funny enough, it didn’t feel any different than any other day! I do plan on finishing ending the new year alcohol and meat free, just to bring in the new year with maximum clarity! The past 40 days have been tough in that I have just felt like an emotional roller coaster, my body has been sore with tension and so many issues within myself have risen to the surface in a way that I can no longer ignore! Leading in, I really thought that I would manifest left and right and that I would coast through any and everything that came my way!
The main goal was to feel confident and uplifted, and although I would like to go further in that vien; I can say that I feel more dedicated to that pursuit! I have come to see that I truly have EVERYTHING that I need within me. More than anything else, all of the inner work for the past 40/40 has shown me that its all about making the shift within myself! I can heal myself, I can create my best life, I can feel better, I can move things in my physical experience- all by focusing on feeling good and aligned! THIS is PARAMOUNT! I dont have anything else but that to share. The better I feel the better things go and the better I am able to help others! That is my goal for now, and I wish all others to move toward that same goal in the new year! Many blessings to you all in the new year! The JOURNEY CONTINUES!
12/29 Day Thirty Nine
Erin: Oh wow only one more day left of this 40/40 plan! Despite our journal end-date, these exercises are definitely coming with me into 2015. It’s been all about conscious moves, smarter inspired action, listening to ourselves and our bodies, really walking the walk with self-care rituals, good intentions, attitude/habitual pattern catches and being aware of our alignment so things flow gently without resistance. 39 days later I feel stronger in my being, more centered in my desires and dreams and back on track with my authentic self. This was the perfect way to end not only this year, but a big cycle of my life where I spent a lot of time inside myself doing inner work. I’m ready to re-emerge and put to use all of the things I’ve discovered and learned in this cycle! In prepping for 2015, I love the wisdom of Christine Delorey’s Creative Numerology, astro reports I’ve been looking to weekly for the past three years as a guide, and they always seems to be so precise and relevant! In her interpretation, life goes in 9 year cycles and each year you go through the cycle. This past year I was in my 2-year, which emphasizes patience, learning, cooperation, attention to detail and slow creation. It most certainly was! In 2015 I’ll go into my 3-year, which emphasizes the journey to personal happiness, self fulfillment, light and fun relationships and physically creating the life I want. It’s pretty easy to figure out what your number is - you can find your yearly reading here, your monthly here, and your weekly forecast here. I suggest finding your number for 2015 since this year is just about over. It’s great that my 3-year puts a lot of emphasis on happiness and playful creation (last year was way more serious), because my New Year’s Resolution is simply to have more fun! To laugh more, to play more and to stop taking things so seriously. I also jotted down in my morning pages that I trust and release all the big dreams I have and my goal this year is to simply live well, be well and do well. I think that covers it all. I’m riding high on the eve of our final day!! So grateful <3
PS - In relation to what I was writing about yesterday (jobs, careers, income streams), I came across this article by Marianne Williamson called Your Job vs Your Calling, from her book The Law of Divine Compensation. Check it out!
Millana: The Abraham Hicks video below really did it for me! This morning I stayed in bed and meditated and rested despite what I had “planned”, because I was reminded by this video that its allll about getting aligned first! So I did what felt good, meditated, rested, then got up and stretched, did my affirmations, ate and THEN did my morning pages and GetTHANKFUL list. I wanted to go work out and although I was doubting myself since it was now around 2:30, I decided that I would just lean into following my inspiration. As I stepped out of my door and walked up to my mailbox on the way out, I decided that I wanted to receive checks in the mail again, so I started saying “thank you for the checks in the mail” as I went to open my box. Low and behold, I received a late Christmas card from a dear friend… to my surprise not only did she send me a card and family picture but a CHECK as well!!! WOW! I was still on my way to the gym when I remembered that I wanted to grab water colors and paints and sexy toys for my bf and I, in one fall swoop I grabbed it all and was on my way to the gym! By the time I was done with my kick ass workout, i realized that all day the alignment I found not only felt great, but it brought so many ideas, inspiration and hopeful expectant joy… THAT is what I am calling productive today.
So after all that, my honey and I went TJ’s (my FAVE grocery store!), I cooked us a quick dinner, ate gluten free cookies and almond milk for a lil something that is so YUMMMY and so comforting! Then voila, I was inspired to paint my first painting! Please dont laugh!! I WILL get better at this! So in short, as you will hear in the video below… its all about alignment over action. Once you are aligned, inspired action will follow! THAT is working smarter, not harder! Its allll about feeling good, and make that the goal alll day, every day! Well at least I was able to do it today! Good night!
12/28 Day Thirty Eight
Erin: Today I had a day almost completely to myself, a rare occasion in the past couple of years. During these days of independence I often feel big spurts of helpful reflections, self-care and action. Today’s bit couldn’t have come at a better time for me, as I’m feeling realigned and on pointe. I liked that it was a bit rainy, because I didn’t feel too guilty spending most of the morning and early afternoon working on exactly the things I wanted to from bed, with little naps in between. I am so inspired by the deeper connection I’ve been feeling with my path, especially in the past couple of days, so I’m working with more passion and pleasure than I have in a very long time. Because of this, things are swiftly getting crossed off my to-do list and I’m just feeling so good! I’m grateful to be taking a breather from most of my aspirational commitments and responsibilities, and to be in a space that helps me move from a place of inspired action. I’ve been thinking a lot about the different types of work I am choosing in my life, what they bring to my life and how they effect me. A catalyst of this 40/40 plan was Millana and I realizing that we weren’t working on our dreams in a healthy way, and we needed to change that.
SERENE has been an incredible blessing, has helped me grow as a woman, an entrepreneur, friend and teammate. Through SERENE I’ve expanded the circle of such wonderful women around me, and it only keeps growing more vast and fun! It’s incredibly exciting and affirming of this beautiful dream. Here, I feel like a calling is fulfilled to produce nourishing content, unite and empower women/people and help raise consciousness and spread love in this world. Millana and I have spent almost two years nurturing this vision of SERENE and all that goes with creating a for-profit business model based around a high vibe’d community that produces face-to-face interactions and authentic, uplifting and inspiring content to help women live well. There’s lots to do! For a long time we tried to take on the bulk work of it all ourselves, while both working on ourselves and other projects and jobs at the same time, in a very out-of-balance way. We’ve had some beautiful freelance help though out the journey, we have our London lead Leslie and Monica in Los Angeles. In September our divinely perfect editorial and community manager Jordy found her way to us. We realize we are growing quickly and that it takes a community to build a community. Instead of keeping slipping into this bad habit of trying to do everything myself in this 50-hats mode, I am so open to a team, the helpers and the collaborators. In the past 24 hours I had to set some clear and realistic goals and boundaries for myself in SERENE, which allows space to be created for more people to come in and help. It also allows me to work on other passions, and balance this all in a healthy way.
I’ve mentioned that I am in the process of launching CoCre, an idea for a crowd-sourcing non-profit that I have been sitting on for three years. It speaks so loudly to me every day, and after growing frustrated ignoring it for so long, I am finally taking action! Through CoCre I am fulfilling a calling of helping the Earth, the environment, animals and humanity. It is in the very early stages still and I have a lot of work to do, but the work I feel coming through already is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I assume that it is from the not-for-profit/higher calling wavelength, and the energy that floods in to support that. A lot of this is unknown, but I’m flying forward with grace, excitement and gratitude knowing that I am finally listening and taking action on this!
Finally, there is my writing. I’m a deeply passionate writer, but I haven’t shared much with anyone in the past decade. Eighteen years ago (whoa) I started freelance writing, using it as a platform for myself and ideas and earning income from it before getting involved into the business behind it all, and I want to go back to that. I love the innocence of freedom and expression in writing. This 40/40 diary has been great writing practice, and I’m so grateful for that alone.
With all this alignment and more rooted connections to purpose that has come up for me lately, it has been unclear how I was going to fit all of this in and manage it all. Today a lot of those answers came to me, including a time frame of how this could all work out, so I’m excited to see how this will all play out if I stick to it.
I just want to say… with a few big work-based things that I’m manifesting in my life, I often get told by others to focus on only one and drop the others. That success can’t happen if I don’t do this. I get the theory and it might be easier, but at this point I cannot just pick one. If I was a mother with three children (which these projects and dreams often feel like), would anyone give me advice to just pick the child that I thought had the most potential and drop the others? Heck no. I would raise those babies with the same amount of love, care and nourishment of potential, as I intend to with my dreams. Sure it may mean more work for me, but I am a young(ish) human with incredible amounts of drive and energy. I am willing and able. I am listening to myself and my body more than ever, and vow to respect what I hear. I am a superwoman (aren’t we all?), a mother of all of these visions and can raise each of these dream beings well enough to flourish in this world and serve their purpose together. I know I won’t be alone either. I’m feeling so grateful and good! I winded down the evening with three hours (!!) of deep stretching and doing some little work-outs in my ballet shoes! Loooovvveeee <3
I’m not going to lie, the past few days have been tough! Soooo many things have come to the surface. But really I feel a glimmer of hope because its good to know that I’m starting to feel more, because more than anything else I have been numb. These past 30 odd days… have not been what I thought they would be at all! I really thought that this 40/40 would turn everything in my life to gold-full of sychronicity and fun! To my surprise, its been more about self discovery and sifting through my own bullshit!
I have found that there are ALOT of things that I want to change, and that if I am honest with myself I see that I have been holding on to many of the things, people and beliefs that I know no longer serve me. The biggest and most inclusive of all of the beliefs is my fear of being who I REALLY am: A full luminous woman who lives and shines fully! I have seen this plague myself and so many others, I dont want that for my 2015 and this reality has been knocking LOUDLY that its time to BREAKFREE! So Im up for it, I am taking up my space, big, beautiful and free- my light is bursting through. This vibration shift and realization is what I have been feeling breaking through the surface. I am ready.
12/27 Day Thirty Seven
Millana: My holiday staycation continued at home today! I woke up feeling that I should tend to my own self healing and have been aware the past few days that my root chakra was in need of balance. After some reading about the root chakra in bed, I was confimered on my theory. The root chakra is about survival and belonging, if you are only focused on or in need of the things of survival or security in your own body, life or community, then the root chakra is imbalanced. It can also be felt in the physical body- the evidence can be when you have a low sex drive, reproductive issues or general pain or disease in the reproductive areas. After the refresher, I quickly did self-Reiki for about 45 mins, and felt shifts in both my physical body and in my emotions.
Then, later in the evening Jean and I hosted my two girlfriends for dinner. The four of us had a beautiful time, laughing, eating beautiful food and connecting on all things love and spirit. I was honest with them about how I have been feeling and for lack of better words I have felt passionless and burnt out. How could that be, when I have found and am living the very things that I feel called to do? After a long discussion, it became clear that I was holding onto people and things that just didn’t belong any more. All out of fear of “leaving others behind”. The thing about this false belief is that its not about leaving anyone behind- its about promoting the best life of growth and expansion for myself AND others! That is something that I cannot guess or control, who will stay or who will go, either way if I focus on bliss and love in the direction of my soul’s calling, all that falls away will be in peace and in perfect timing. ‘Night!
Erin: I woke up very early and was greeted by a beautiful suburban sunrise. I had to head back to the city, so this was a nice little send-off from momma Earth. I was very tired and less-than-eager to return to the “flow”, until I remembered the flow is anything I want it to be! I had a work commitment for a big part of the day which I sailed through with a better sense of pride and control, and before I knew it the day was mine completely. I’m feeling so aligned and so good inside, and all would feel perfect if not for how I’ve been eating since Christmas. I was doing really good for a bit, but just like Thanksgiving I dipped back into some cane sugar and late night eating, and I can really feel the sluggish, heavy, turbulent effects today. Two pimples popped up on my cheek too - so both the inside and outside of my body are telling me that it is time to put down the low-grade chocolates and sweets. I go through times of such great will-power, and then sometimes I just cave. Towards the late afternoon I hunkered in and got some good CoCre and writing-related work done, and felt accomplished enough to fully enjoy a fun, low-key movie night with my sweet love <3
12/26 Day Thirty Six
Erin: I feel like there has been a beautiful remodeled life that has hatched in the last 72 hours, bringing me the clarity, direction and inspiration I was looking for in this 40-day plan. Sure I had hoped that major epic magic would happen where I would suddenly have all the answers, become a millionaire and everything in my life would become super easy, but on this plane, the clarity and plan to move forward is exactly what I was looking for. I know there are so many more self-development tools I could have been using on a daily basis throughout this, but I acknowledge that I have done a good job, and will use these other tools as fuel to keep this 40/40 plan going all year long!
Today was a wonderful day for sleeping, reflections and action plans. I woke up feeling super energized that I am in the throws of this new life. It’s funny, because it’s not actually my life or dreams that change, it’s just my attitudes and perspective, which truly effect everything. Today there were a couple of things that came up as reminders of a few of the last things I need to work on before the year ends, kind of like life is ringing out a wet cloth to get all the last bits of liquid out. I fully want to go into the year carrying as little baggage and bad habits as possible, so anything coming up now is a reminder of what needs to be learned from and let go of. I have a clear plan with how to move forward with the goals and projects I’m committed to: my non-profit CoCre, SERENE, my writing and the work I do for income. I am a bit anxious as to how this will all balance out, and how I will still have time for ME, but right now I am not thinking about the hows. I just know that I want each of these to be apart of my life, so I know they will all work out as long as I hold my ground and define my boundaries on each. It felt good to feed my dreams today, and I spent a lot of time organizing outlets to write for, getting together some pitches, editor contacts and info. I am ready to fully step into and embrace the woman I see myself as in my best form! Let it be so! I am open to all the possibilities, connections and magic. Thank you sweet universe for the abundance of opportunity and ability bestowed on me! I am humbled, grateful and willing to do the work.
Millana: Today, I woke up feeling different. I wasn’t sure what it was that changed inside of me, but something felt different. I feel that it must be the energy of Christ consciousness on Christmas night because I felt a clearing of some sort had happened when I a woke this morning! Otherwise, today was really like any other day. Instead, I had more free flowing thoughts and could see more possibilities when looking into my own future! I must say that much of this came from my positive thoughts before bed- but I also think that perhaps some the momentum that I had been asking for came about from the inside! I am beyond tired! So I will hang it up tonight! Tomorrow Im going to work on some of the things that have come to mind this week! Cant wait!
12/25 Day Thirty Five
Millana: Merry Christmas again! I also just noticed that I only have 5 more days left of the 40/40. Its taken so much dedication the past 40 days, but I know that I would have even better results if I did EVERYTHING EVERYDAY! Its funny, so much has happened in the past 35 days that I have wanted and wait for months! But what I really want is to feel at peace and at the same time bursting from within! I am still struggling to keep my thoughts and words only on what I desire. This is the true goal! I am taking a break from work the next couple of days so this is really my opportunity to go within for the last stretch -all to discover the real triumph from within.
Erin: Happy holiday blessings!! What a lovely 36 hours it has been, being unplugged with family and friends and surrounded by the Christmas spirit. I know I have not written on this thread every day, however I am still consciously doing the daily self-work and take notes for this journal throughout the process. I’m inspired by Millana’s commitment and realize this is why we need partners in life, to carry the energy and keep it going when one of us is off-the-grid. Today was very emotional for me. I’ve been on the brink of tears since last night, as I’m feeling the closing of a lot of the things I’ve been praying out of my life, my habits and my body lately. I feel myself shedding to welcome in all the goodness that is to come, all the newness that happens with applying these life changes and lessons. I’m excited about going into my thirties, I’m excited about the new year and my now super-grounded goals. I feel so lucky and blessed to feel the love of so many incredible people around me, the undying support of my family, my boyfriend and friends. I’m empowered, alive, healthy and able! I’m finally taking action on a deep calling from the Earth that has been burning inside me all of my life, and I feel like this is the beginning of a new era!
12/24 Day Thirty Four
Millana: Merry Christmas everyone! I want to muse out loud about something that I have been grappling with for sometime. The past 30 some days has forced me to face the fact that one of the reasons that I’m afraid of my full success is because Im afraid that it will mean leaving others behind. I am afraid that if I really go after what I am wanting, that those that I love who are not going after their dreams will no longer be so close. This is a very ” realistic” fear I suppose. But I also have to remember that vibrationally speaking when we focus on what we want, with excitement, love and passion; anything that doesn’t align with that will either rise to the same vibration or fall away in a peaceful and loving way. So, I think it may be time to really meditate on this- because I know it to be true and I know that I can get to a place where I no longer allow this fear to creep in.
12/23 Day Thirty Three
Millana: I realized, almost first thing this morning, that there were still a few things that I wasn’t doing consistently. To focus on what is going right, I can report that I have written these post every day yet, have not had alcohol or meat and have done at least one practice daily that I know focuses my energy. But what about every thing I know, everyday? NO. Why? Is this apart of the process as well? If I am going after what feels good and most inspiring- is that all that matters? Now that I am drinking all this water and minding all of these practices, is there something still missing when I feel the remorse of so much left undone and so much yet to come? I thought that after thirty three days, I would have so much to share in terms of breakthroughs with SERENE, my personal life, finances etc. But, I also know that breakthroughs often come in 11th hour, so I still wait on what is sure to come!
Erin: Today was a good day for me to catch up to my life and get ready for the holidays. Millana and I decided to take a break from the normal work pace of SERENE for the rest of the year, and it felt so good waking up and not diving into a seemingly endless list of things that need to get done for this grand vision we have. I was so grateful to have this day. Pretty early in, I set out to do some Christmas shopping. Normally I have attitudes about holidays that turn into breeding grounds for consumer addictions, but I do love buying gifts for people, so I really enjoyed each and every store, moment and purchase. I got a few little treats for myself, which felt really nice because I haven’t splurged on myself in a while. I’ve been eating well again, and ever since my “wind dancer” wake-up call image I’ve been really strong about being grounded, standing in my own dream and walking on my own path. I know this sounds like the most basic responsibility to living life, but from time to time we come undone from this and that re-centering feels like the best homecoming in the world. I’ve been doing end-of-the-year meditations that seem to be helping to unravel things, as I lovingly breathe out all that no longer serves my highest purpose and gratefully inhale all that I desire next in my life. Tonight I’m heading home to upstate New Jersey, reconnecting with family and nature and be disconnected for a few days. I’m so excited!
12/22 Day Thirty Two
Millana: With last night being the longest and darkest night of the year, I slept like a baby! Although I thought with all of the energy swirling with the new moon and the solstice that I might recieve some grand epiphany last night or today. The epiphany didn’t come, and more than anything, I was just plain tired! Could the signal a need to go in and relax?? The highlight of my day was by far what came this evening with the salon dinner that we hosted at Soho House. With a intimate dinner of strangers (in the beginning) we ended the evening with a fresh perspective and insight into our own lives and the our new friends as well! It was so refreshing to have such quality conversation, because it really helped us all to digest that it is a new day. The new year has come and that the shift from within has already begun. We read this piece before the dinner and this seems to be the perfect meditation. Blessings in tis new day, new season, new year!
Erin: I was up until nearly 4am, high off the beautiful supportive energy of the solstice and working on the website for my non-profit CoCre. After three years of sitting on the idea, I’ve made a commitment to launching the first bit today, which I did (!!!), I can’t pretend that it doesn’t exist any longer. As I was up late working on this, my body, neck, head and stomach felt exactly as if I were getting the flu. For a few hours I felt my body was starting to fight the flu conditions, yet my spirit was telling me to prevail. More than a flu, it felt as if the sickness I was feeling was literally this project coming out of me after three years of physically sitting in my system, armed with full steam yet having no action by its keeper, me. This empowered me though the sickness I was feeling, and when I finally did go to bed, I drifted off doing white-light meditations where I scan my body envisioning white light transmuting any ill or negative cell into a clean, pure cell. I highly recommend this for anytime you feel out-of-whack. I woke up four hours later at 8am feeling wonderful and ready to take on my day!
I had a big SERENE team task to cross off my list, which took up most of my day yesterday and will today too. I know what a full plate I have and might normally be a frustrated mess, but today I have a new calm confidence of knowing it will align perfectly because I am truly feeling ON PATH. I finally (albeit very quietly) launched my non-profit - I turned the car on and now it’s up to me to put it in drive and cruise around with it. Even with this tiny launch knowing that so much more needs to get done, I feel this incredible sense of relief and like nothing else can touch this feeling. I happily spent the entire day with Millana and Fiona, hand-delivering holiday gift bags to a few partners and influencers in our network. I had a break of two hours where I had do do work for another job, then ran back into the vortex for a soul-nourishing and enlightening end-of-the year dinner party for SERENE. Everything about this was so perfect, from the vegetarian multi-course menu that Soho House created for us, to the plethora of good wisdom that was shared. We went through multiple rounds, each speaking things we wanted to call in, get rid of, things we have learned, sharing things that have touched us this past year. We all started off as strangers and left as sisters. This group setting was such a perfect and powerful way of closing out the year, and welcoming all that is to come. I’m feeling incredible!!
12/21 Day Thirty One
Erin: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at this point, going into a new year with SERENE, this calling for the non-profit and a writing career, and all other things that flood me. But instead of feeling overwhelmed, I’m feeling grateful to have this type of work on my plate. I spent some time in the morning journaling and getting prepared for this day, which is a major personal day of transformation. On this shortest and darkest day of the year, this is our time to close out all that has been and welcome in all that is and that will be. Really write and speak our intentions for the future and lovingly say goodbye to the things that no longer serve our greatest life. In the past twenty-four hours I have come to such an incredible shift. I realized that I have been feeling like one of those cylinder grand-opening wind dancer things that moves any which way the wind blows (pictured), because I’ve been feeling pulled in so many different directions, not really firmly planted in the ground or into my own true desires and path. It was the exact image I needed to whip me back into shape, back into realizing how strong I am when I’m grounded and aligned in my path. My perspective and drive immediately shifted and I remembered I’m not a slave to the winds, I’m not this airy figurine, and it is only me that can set the tone for how rooted into my life I am. I wrote three pages of prayers, blessings and things that I am calling in for 2015, and suddenly feel so connected to my path. It’s been years since I’ve felt this aligned. Suddenly everything else feels like nothing… no stress, no worries, just get right through it because nothing can effect me on this path of purpose!
Millana: Today went by so quickly. I am often left wondering what happened with my time. Now in my late 20’s I finally understand what my mom said about how precious time is. Its an odd paradox because time really is an illusion anyways! Nonetheless, I have continually been getting the message the past few days that I am not valuing my time and the life that I have at this moment and phase of my life. I have always felt that I was living for things to be better someday. So in the mean time, it was always ok in my mind to just get by and/or work so hard without joy or fulfillment, because it was all so that I could enjoy my life more at a later date once I had the life that I wanted. Now I see that all that is BS. Unfortunately- that way of life has become a real habit for me. One that leaves me very fearful and guilty when I seek to change it! I get the message- enjoy our life now. On this I will meditate and do my best to act from this week! Will you join me in doing the same?
12/20 Day Thirty
Millana: Despite all the things that I will go for in my life I am often really scared This morning, I woke up and asked myself “what happened to me not caring?”. That Millana always seemed to do better, and was so much happier! I want to care less, care less about what people think, care less about what I do or don’t have and care less about the future -perhaps the best thing these 40 days and nights could lead me to is care about nothing but living fully, deeply and joyously in the moment. I’m not sure how to do this but I’m pretty sure its a skill and habit that I can work on!
Erin: I feel like I am on the cusp of so much greatness, but also like I’m in a spin-cycle of my old bad habits and old patterns of thinking and reacting. I’ve been emotional lately, frustrated, and I’m acknowledging that there is something big missing in my life. I feel grateful to know exactly what it is. I’m reminded of it whenever I see my daily social media and news posts about the devastation of Earth, environment and animals. There is a calling inside me unlike anything else, that booms like thunder from within and that comes through me, straight from the source, straight from the natural world, straight from our precious mother Earth. Every single day she calls me to help her, to be a voice for her, to create more action for her protection and harmony. Every day I know I don’t take the action I can take on her behalf. I know I’m shutting out such a huge part of my purpose and I cannot go another year doing this. There are two things that are incredible apparent in my life right now: I need to write more and I need to launch my non-profit. I’ve been wanting to return to writing in the more journalistic way that I used to, and treat it as a freelance profession as I used to, and pray my words help inspire a new Earth. Additionally, three years ago I thought of an idea for a non-profit that is a digital platform where causes and missions can raise the resources they need on, not just money. I can feel the calling to launch this, yet every day for the past three years I have sat on this feeling with very little effort. Perhaps I’ve been procrastinating on the start-date because maybe it feels really big, or because I know it will have a tremendous impact and change on my life. Whatever the case, it has boiled over enough and it is time to step deeper into my purpose. I am committed to launching the framework of the website on the 22nd, the day after solstice and on the last New Moon of the year. Two days from now.
There are a lot of questions on how I’m going to balance everything and make this all work, but for tonight I surrender all the how’s and the why’s, and embrace the unknown. I hear the call and I’m responding, gratefully, humbly willing to do the work for this incredible dream.
12/19 Day Twenty Nine
Millana: Today, Erin and I had a big meeting that we have been waiting over a year to have! Its funny, things are happening in this 40/40 that are quite epic in that I have been waiting for months or more for them to come to pass. What’s interesting about it all is that even with all of these good meetings and deals bursting through, there is so much resistance within me. With a constant pressure to scale yet grow organically and authentically- I feel myself caving in. No matter, how much we accomplish or grow into, Im aware that this pressure will always be there.
With my morning pages, affirmations, gallon of water, etc as daily practices I am sure that so much more is coming and unfolding. What matters most is that I feel confident, loved and connected in the midst of all the things that are coming to me. I really want to focus on those things because I realize that the rest is ever changing.
Erin: As Millana mentioned, we had a beautiful meeting today with a perfect partner, a vision we’ve been seeing and feeding into for the past year. It was a big reminder that we always have to trust the timing, as we met the women behind this partner company six months ago and have had casual chats and excitement possibilities talk ever since. For months we’d try to get together and something would come up for someone, and yesterday it finally came together. It was also a reminder that everything we want to happen happens in some form or another, which always brings me back to a relaxed level about life. I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure lately, like I’m being pulled in so many different directions, have a lot of commitments, my work feels scattered and my home base is currently not too sound. I feel like my being hasn’t really sat still in months. But I’m learning to stay calm and present in all of this, so that I am wading through each issue and trying to gently deal with it, rather than pushing past it in a huff like it doesn’t exist. I’m becoming more aware of myself, my time, my energy, and finding so much more empowerment and respect for myself in this. I’ve been journaling and meditating a lot lately, and always drinking lots of water, but could still use more frequent yoga and fitness in my life. On that note, I’m becoming more and more sensitive to the foods that go in my body, and find myself craving only high quality, pure foods again, after I slipped and started becoming okay with eating low vibe food too frequently. I’m grateful for the elevation. I’m looking forward to flying through this bit of turbulence and settling more in my being and into my life, but I know times like these are a big part of developing, so I’m grateful. May I learn to quickly apply the lessons from any life situation and keep sailing on!
12/18 Day Twenty Eight
Millana: I woke up later today feeling pretty good and well rested. As soon as I started to set my intentions for the day, I had a flash in my mind of going to Gramercy park, the closest place to my house to connect with nature. In the Celestine Prophesy, it teaches that when one has a vision or glimpse of a possible outcome, that they must follow it in order to rendezvous with a person or message. I follow these inclinations as often as possible and almost always have a synchronistic meeting. This time I didn’t, and went with my boyfriend to run errands instead, but I am reminded that these are very important things to follow nonetheless.
I was able to get my morning pages done none the less, then I headed to the gym for a great work out, lunch with a friend and work for a few hours before a great event hosted by Natasha Grossi of The WTF Magazine where we made Christmas cards! All in all- today was a good day. And although I have felt like things have been slower than I thought they would be, things have actually been just fine and that’s not so bad afterall!
Erin: Today, after a nice morning of productive work, I went over to Suparna Bhasin’s house, who is a life coach and creator of She Creates Change. Millana introduced me to Suparna a little over a year ago when we started collaborating with her for SERENE magic, and since we have stayed in touch personally. I have a tendency to let a million things float around and build up in my mind, and then I’ll give someone this huge 30 minute download of info when I see them, which is exactly what I did when I met Suparna for a catch-up lunch at Jivamukti two weeks ago. It was here, when she heard all of my grand plans, aspirations and self-limiting blocks, that she offered to help me sort them all out and make sure I’m giving time to the things I want, and most importantly to myself. I feel so lucky to have such a great support network filled with people who care about my development and dreams in this world!
After a pow wow with Suparna, I stuck around to help her set up for her holiday party. During the party one of the attendees, an astrologer, gave an impromptu reading which got me excited for the power of this end of the year cycle, when we say goodbye to all the things that we do not wish to take with us into the next year, all habits, negative patterns of thinking and anything that doesn’t serve our greatest interest. She spoke of rapid change, which I love, and the importance of knowing exactly what you want, exactly what you want, and stating it loud and clear in prayer, wishes or affirmations. I’m going to spend the next couple of days really going deep and doing this work, setting the tone for 2015. I’m very excited!!!!
12/17 Day Twenty Seven
Millana: Have you guys ever heard of The Human Design System? I have just found this system for uncovering your life meaning this past spring, and have become enthralled! I am a Projector, one of the four Human Design types. Its interesting because it really does pinpoint me well! I realized today that one thing that it teaches is the Projectors must not put working hard over working smart, and that we really must draw things into us! This is very interesting because this is a message that I keep uncovering over and over again. This is a very hard concept for me to digest, because it suggests that I must wait and that I cannot go get things, instead I must draw it in to myself. I am all about going to go and get what what I want, but looking back I see how this completely exhausts me and that in fact the only way the things I really want happen is when they come to me. If I can really accept this concept and see it prove its to my benefit, this could be a major breakthrough!
As for all of the work that I have done today:
Gallon of water
What I would like to do every day:
Workout in some form (missed today)
Gratitude list (I know better)
12/16 Day Twenty Six
Erin: Today I woke up with a fire ignited. Despite going to bed late, I opened my eyes around 6:15 feeling really good! However, I had this burning feeling that I needed to stay in and grind down, and not go forward with my morning plan. I let my intuition take over, and before I even physically got up or did my morning pages, or anything else for that matter, I grabbed my laptop and just exploded out this work morning session that felt tremendously accomplishing. After a few hours, I had a craving for yoga, so I logged into MovementforModernLife‘s online video database, and was drawn to this video called Sugar Detox 2. It wasn’t the title that drew me, rather the description “a sweet treat to help ‘rest & digest’ and particularly helps with anxiety or tension. A flowing, gentle class with lots of deep lunges, twists and thigh stretches to help improve the digestion and settle the nervous system.” It was a beautiful, quick 30 minute practice. Halfway through I realized I was holding so much tension in my neck and shoulders, so after that video I found this 6 minute Neck Release stretch. WOW! These little shifts and bonus points we can give ourselves that can changes the course of our day! Suddenly I feel pressure release and I’m holding my head up higher and stronger.
I wanted to leave you with this super simple and clear checklist that I came across today for how to raise your vibration. Enjoy + apply!!
Today yoga changed my day-perhaps my life. Going to yoga this morning really changed the way that I was feeling. Reminding me that yoga is an essential part of a life well lived. Going to sleep with positive thoughts last night helped tremendously, but it was the yoga that made all the difference. I didn’t get a chance to do my practices today, but I was in the flow and was sure to go with it when I felt inspired to send emails instead. Sure enough I was invited to an event and had a surprising evening where I met some great people! Im still drinking a gallon a day, and am noticing that my skin is really starting to look more clear and radiant. Still continuing my affirmations which are really moving things as well! Tomorrow is a day of writing and pitching- I will go to sleep visualizing how well it will all go!
12/15 Day Twenty Four
Millana: Its really amazing how the way you go to bed effects the way you feel when you wake up! I woke up off again! Shesh, can all this good work catch up again?! Even after such a beautiful night with my girlfriends, I decided to save a tough convo with my bf for bedtime talk! By the time I woke up it was like I was right back in it. THIS is why, we must let our final thoughts at night be positive… in order to pre-pave the mood the next morn! Ever hear, “never go to sleep angry”- Im pretty sure this is why!
Even though it was a tough morning mood wise, I got through it by reaching out to my beloved. Reaching out- the last thing we want to do when feeling down- but so so important! We reconciled all of our differences and ended up switching it up completely. Let’s just say my mind was taken off of allll my problems! This was just what I needed! Now, my love an I will go to bed reflecting on what we are thankful for! I dare you to try it too!
Ps: I have drank 1 gallon of water a day for one week now and I have to say I have to run to the restroom allll the time and my skin is breaking out!! I am told that this is what happens early on while the skin and body are flushing toxins! Will keep you all updated!
12/14 Day Twenty Three
I love Sundays! Sundays are such a special day of rest, self-care and reflection. I decided not to do any work this weekend, so today was especially nice, even with some of my prior work commitments put on the back burner. After sleeping in, I ran off to see my sister Lindsay sing in the Abyssian Baptist Church in Harlem. Being able to see and support my sis is an absolute pleasure, but to get to do so in Harlem was the cherry on top. She and I used to live in Harlem when we first to NY, a place that had so many great memories! The beautiful music, sermon, sights and sounds left me so nostalgic!
After church, I came back downtown to change and pay up for gathering at Brigitte Bourdeau’s house. It was so special, 6 of us total gathered for a very promptitude potluck of conversation, reiki, soul cards, mediation and affirmation. I had no idea who would all show, or what we would end up doing, but it unfolded so perfectly! I have renewed hope, patience and trust for the week with some affirmations to top it off!
Happy new week to you all!
Erin: I slept in (ahhhhh Sunday!) and woke up to wide open views of a beautiful field behind my sister’s house, and felt super empowered. I had set some firm intentions last night before bed, and woke up feeling loads of energy. My sister brought had breakfast ready for us (my boyfriend Mike and I), and after breakfast we helped stack a wood delivery for her wood burning fire. I love country chores! We spent the day prepping food, listening to Christmas music and decorating the tree when more family arrived, so nice and nourishing of the holiday spirit! I loved that my mom told me she’s incorporating some of the self love practices and white light meditations into her day! I’m so happy for her!!
On the drive back to Brooklyn in the evening, I had a powerful, mountain-moving talk with my boyfriend. When I settled in, I honed deeper into my action/goal-plan for the rest of the year and quarter one. I’m feeling so empowered and in control of my destiny!
12/13 Day Twenty Two
Millana: Today was a tough day. I felt so much resistance. I take it as a good thing really, because I know that things are coming to the surface… motion causes emotion. While teaching my GetTHANKFUL course, I often see that most people keeping with the practice hit a rough patch half way through. The trick is to keep with the practice to push through to new levels! So luckily I know the mix of sadness, anger and frustration is normal!
The saving grace of my day was to be apart of the Millions March. Never have I had the opportunity to apart such solidarity and unity! It was awesome! People from every background, ethnicity and age. It was truly inspiring to be among the collective of those who want more peace, love and justice. I really believe that we must stand for what we WANT, because what we resist persists.
Erin: This morning I woke up feeling so grateful and motivated. Last night I made significant progress on CoCre, the ‘crowd-resourcing for the greater good’ platform I’m launching with my friend Noni before Christmas, and with the latest SERENE breakthrough, my passion projects seem to be lining up just right. Knowing I was about to leave the farm, I went outside almost as soon as I got up to hang out with, feed and give thanks to the horses. Even just standing in their presence is such a meditation, and with each of them being such loving beings so receptive to affection, I was in my glory. I really tuned in to consciously take in every moment: breathing in the air, feeling the wind, feeling the energy from the horses… such magic! From there, Noni and I took a beautiful, scenic two hour drive to our equally farm-friendly hometown in New Jersey to visit our families. In the ride along the way, we helped each other melt layers of things that no longer serve our greatest interest - friends don’t let friends go through life with this baggage. Sometimes it’s hard to have the tough talks, as with anyone that is really close to you, so many things are reflections of things inside us - our responses, our defenses and thoughts/patterns we need to work on.
Tonight, after a nice birthday dinner for my brother’s girlfriend, I’m winding down at my sister’s house, since we’re sleeping over here to wake up and decorate the Christmas tree tomorrow - a little family tradition. It’s so nice to be in the presence of family, catching up with my sister and our dog Koko. What a wonderful weekend I’m having!!
12/12 Day Twenty One
Erin: It’s my last night at the farm, and it’s been such a little blessing to change-up my world for a few days. I would say CLARITY has been the theme in my life lately. After months of asking for it (and perhaps not listening/applying action to the answers), I’m now gaining so much clarity on life moves and my passion projects - SERENE and CoCre. We had a breakthrough SERENE call this morning while on the phone with our London lead Leslie, and I felt it opened things up for us to advance to the next level. I participated in some “farm chores” afterwards, had a beautiful fresh organic lunch and spent some quality time with the horses. Two of the horses I met in Colorado on this magical journey, so it was nice to welcome them to the East Coast. With my friend Noni here, he’s very helpful with grounding dreams and visions I have, and supportive of me drawing power from that space to manifest them. He’s also teaching me about working with horses more, which I feel like I need to practice for when I visit and work with elephants - I know it’s coming! The biggest habit I have with animals is that I always just want to run up to them and hug them and love them, whatever they are - horses, bears, whales, cats…. I love sharing love with other beings. After dinner, we worked together on our project CoCre (co-create a greater world!), and after he left the barn guesthouse (so cute!), I took an incredibly indulgent candlelit bath with Frankincense, sage, cedarwood, Jojoba and apricot oils. Yesssss…. all this good medicine!!
I forgot to mention two nights ago, I had a very long dream where I was soaring through skyscrapers in a city flying, which happens every so often and usually means that really good things are happening in my psyche and life. It took years of having these occasional dreams for me to learn how to fly in them (it’s all about courage and belief!) and it’s been over a year since I last flew. It might sound a bit wild, but in my dreams it’s unbelievable how real flying is, from the feeling in my stomach, to the views and air, to even just the force it consciously requires (while subconsciously sleeping) to jolt myself into the air and land on things. It is so real, and I always feel so incredibly grateful after my flying dreams - what a feeling!!! Wishing you the most magical of dreams!!
Millana: I’m glad that Erin mentioned the conversation that we had this morning. Because it was a real turning point for us as partners and within each us individually. What I found odd was that I woke up angry and on edge about the call that we had scheduled, I was breathless upon waking. I know that I must listen to the voice within, and quickly pinpoint the source of anger, fear or worry. Because I knew that there was going to be a conversation that had been held back and needed to happen, even though parts of it were tough. The good news is that we were able to get through the tough part of the conversation and got to a better place as a team and in our perspectives.
After a few hours of work and calls, I was off to Carter Hospital in East Harlem for a Beauty + Wellness volunteering event with our green beauty expert Rebecca Casiano and my good friendSsanyu to give reiki to some of the patients. WOW, talk about rewarding! Most of the patients that we worked with, had never heard of reiki but were open to receiving the healing energy. Nothing was so satisfying as seeing the relaxation and peace that each person left the room with. We were so moved by the change that each person experienced, that Ssanyu spoke with the programs director about coming back regularly. I’m happy to say that SERENE will now lead monthly reiki volunteering at the Carter hospital! Any practitioners that feel compelled! Let me know!
I want to end off the post with two action items. WATCH these two films: The first was about the civil rights and black power movement in the US. The Black Power Mixtape -a doc sooo rich in American history! Its so thought provoking and informative- all shot through the lens of Swedish filmmakers in the 60’s and 70’s. The second film I watched and was also deeply moved by is OMG GMO, a great doc that reveals the health and environmental impact of GMOs, and Im sure you can imagine its alarming! Please watch and let me know your thoughts!